Run It Up the Flagpole, Boys (and They Can Stick It Where the Sun Don't Shine)

Y’all got a flag yet? Tell you what. I’m gon’ get me one. Couldn’ve give less of a shit up till a few weeks ago. For me it wasn’t nothing but ten dollars better spent. Then they started taking ‘em away from us. They think that’s gon’ work?

            I was coming back from the store this afternoon and passed a Richard Petty-looking dude in a jacked-up truck. Thing was rumbling like thunder and had two big old rebel flags flapping from the back of the bed. A little while back that son of a bitch probably looked more like a deacon at Macedonia Baptist—right up to when the damn goverment started gettin’ in his face. Now, with all what’s going on, seeing that truck, flags wavin’ . . . I swear, it like to give me chills.

            And what’s even worse than being told what to do is if we say we don’t like it then we’re a bunch of racists. It ain’t about race. We don’t hate nobody—except maybe Obama, but that’s just about his communist style of goverment, got nothing to do with race. Now, is he an American? No. African or Hawaiian, one or the other, but he ain’t no American. And that just might explain—are you listening, friends?—why it don’t matter to him who comes in or where they come in from.

            What I was saying was, it ain’t about race. We get along fine with the blacks. Or is it African-Americans now? Whatever. Listen, if you hated colored people, could you watch television today? That’s all that’s on there. ‘Cept maybe for NASCAR. And of course every commercial on TV has got to have some colored in it. I mean that’s just flat law now. Goverment law.

            We know all about the Civil Rights movement. We seen the changes. Shit, we’re living the changes. Live in the same neighborhoods, kids go to the same schools, work right alongside one another at the same jobs. (Now this is just a comment about me and not nobody else, but my philosophy is, I might be drunk, or worse, but I’m gon’ get my ass to work.) Point is, racism ain’t even possible these days.

            Notice: I ain’t said nothin’ about no heritage neither. Only problem for us white working people here in the South is the goddamn goverment all over us like tarpaper. Ain't but one political party in the U. S. of A. today tellin' it like it is, and we all know who I'm talkin' about. No: it ain’t hate and it ain’t heritage neither, far as I can see. Heritage? Don’t know about you, brother, but my family never had no slaves on no plantation. And here’s what’s funny to me. We poor white motherfuckers didn’t get to have no slaves, but we’re the ones get blamed for all the hatin' and all the lynchin'. By who? By the goddamn liberal communists. 

                All I’m sayin’? Lot of folks out here tired of gettin’ pushed around.  

                And if what Sheldon told me this morning is true, that Wal-Mart has done pulled all the flags from their shelves ‘cause the communists said to, well, I don’t know what I might do. But whatever it is, it ain’t gon’ be my fault.